My Corporate Compass

Authenticity, Acceptability, And The Balance Of Both

Decorum, Culture, Professionalism.

You do not learn how to master these components in a class or from reading a book. You will not show up on the first day of a new job with these things in tow. You may be rewarded for some measure of pretty girl performance, but that holiday will end quickly. You will have no idea how to succeed at these tasks, yet you will be judged tremendously for stepping out of the box that has never been outlined. You need all three to get the job you want, but only experience will show you how to dodge and weave around the blunders that are bound to happen. Your face turns red even thinking about awkward conversations regarding, well, all that comes with it. And yet, they are all necessary.

I’ve worked for the most conservative companies, and the “good time” guy networks; they are all the same. Your physical and emotional actions define your next steps. There is no such thing as “this stays between us” or “nothing personal” or “we sell wine - that fourth glass at lunch is fine”. Nope. Don’t fall for it. The seat you choose in a meeting, the neatness of your clothing, and how you think you are not interrupting but just need to say “this last thing” - your employer is looking at all of this, and how you will perform consistently. You can say I’m wrong all you want - and I don’t want to be right. Who you are as an individual can’t be changed, but it will be judged and weighed by the audience watching your every move.

And they are watching your every move. We are human, and we want a show. And if you haven’t read any of my blogs, I’ll tell you now - wine industry people are FUN, crazy, smart, kind, and LOVE to put on the show. There is some expectation that we should. We are being paid to present, sell things, and close the deal. All of that comes with some personality and craftiness. It’s the part I was always good at. I may not know all there is to know about a wine region, but I could charm my way through a sales presentation. Once I knew what I was talking about, I became REALLY good at creative spins on the same old ideas. Let my love for being positive through adversity shine. Let everyone think I don’t have a care in the world. I never understood how the salesman with no personality could survive, but they do. I swore that would never be me.

Fast forward about twenty-five years, and a lot has changed. My rose colored glasses were crushed around year five. I learned I had to learn things beyond wine garbage I thought made me look cute, and had to apply tactical sales jargon to my gig. I learned that not stopping gets you to the goal, but turns off the lights in your brain. And I found a balance between who I am as a person and who I show the world within my profession. I could have never done this even five years ago. So, what has changed?

Confidence. Confidence to ask for what I want, to know my worth, and to move through life with purpose.

Balance. Balance in blocking out the noise, making smart and healthy choices for my body, and seeing the truth in all relations that need to continue, or come to an end.

Experience. Ew, tell my 30-year-old self that one. The biggest thing experience taught me was when to shut up. A meaningful, well-thought-out few words hit harder than the saga of juvenile storytelling.

Trust. I have shown up, answered all the phone calls (I actually SPEAK on the phone rather than text), returned the email, admitted when I was wrong, done the favors, and held your hand through it all. I also trust myself. I don’t doubt that I am going to succeed - I don’t have a choice anymore. My intentions recently came into question, and in the end, there were no questions. People know who I am because I have shown them. I have been obvious with how I go to market from the very beginning and have never changed. Reliable, yes, and I never need to defend the opposite. (sigh of relief because that was a lot of work…)

Most importantly, though, and the one that is still being workshopped - My Persona. The outline of “me” becomes more obvious each day. I don’t see an endgame.

There you have it, or there you have what I want to give you. That is my secret sauce to all of this. Don’t give it all. They don’t want it. You don’t need to tell stories from your childhood. No one needs to know where you met your partner or how your heart was broken. Black and white can be useful for what it is. There is time for taking strolls, just not now. Now is the time to make your presence known as a trustworthy, reliable salesperson. Not the girl who just got into a fight with her sister, or can’t control her hot flashes.

Fit into a round hole, and find the square one on the weekend.

Below is the pretty stuff people think I do, then the hot dogs and cheese fries I have at my desk because I forgot to eat…